


They Love To Say (They Told Me)

by Kapua



Series: Just the Beating of Hearts (Flash Challenge) [12]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: F/F, High School Teacher AU, Modern AU, Yennaia Flash Fiction Challenge (The Witcher), health teacher!yen, math teacher!tissaia, terrible puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 09:27:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapua/pseuds/Kapua
Summary: After her brilliant math puns won Tissaia over, Yennefer has been happily dating the other teacher for months. But all of a sudden a prankster targets her classroom---just in time for her annual sex ed unit to begin.A continuation of "And They Say That Dreaming Is Free", aka the punny high school teachers AU.
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Just the Beating of Hearts (Flash Challenge) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878580
Comments: 12
Kudos: 58





	They Love To Say (They Told Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I promise I'll be done with the puns for a bit after this lol.

The week that she starts teaching the annual sex-ed unit, Yennefer finds herself facing a rather unusual situation. Random notes have started appearing in her classroom with rather...inappropriate comments on them.

She finds the first one on a Monday morning. There's a cucumber that's definitely not hers sitting on her desk with a note taped to it that says _"If you were a vegetable, you'd be a cutecumber."_ She glances around the room as if she'll be able to find the perpetrator hiding behind the projector screen, but she's definitely alone. 

She decides to bin the cucumber (pushing it in with a pencil _just in case_ ), and tucks the note in her desk drawer as evidence. Hopefully it's just a one-off prank some freshman did on a dare or something and she won't have to deal with anything else.

###

It's not a one-time prank. Yennefer enters her classroom on Tuesday morning and finds that someone has drawn a large picture on the whiteboard. It depicts two safes, like the type she's seen rich people in movies keep in the bedroom, with one enthusiastically humping the other. Underneath in red block letters are the words _SAFE SEX._

And okay, it's pretty funny, but she's still not sure she likes that someone is apparently sneaking into her class to mess with her. She starts to curate a mental list of the possible perpetrators as she wipes the board clean, plotting her revenge if it's a colleague and not a student. If things don't improve maybe she can ask Tissaia for her input--they've been dating for months now, and she knows the other woman is brilliant. Maybe she'll know what to do.

###

On Wednesday, there's another note taped to her desk when she walks in. This one says _You think safe sex is a joke? I mean, cum on people._ She chuckles before she can stop it and mentally face palms. She's a teacher. She should absolutely not be giggling over juvenile sex jokes like this, especially since she still doesn't know who's behind them.

This one feels like it's maybe a step further than most of her students would dare to go, though, which helps narrow the list of culprits down somewhat. The front runner is definitely Sabrina. As the art teacher it's not a stretch to imagine her putting her sketching skills to use in creating the safe drawing, and Yennefer has pranked her enough times in the past that it would be fair for her to retaliate.

Yennefer does a circuit of the room to make sure she hasn't missed any other surprises before the students arrive and tries to put her desire for revenge on the backburner until after school hours.

###

"I think Sabrina is messing with me." She announces it with zero additional introduction, and Tissaia looks at her from across the dinner table with a raised eyebrow.

"Messing with you in what way, darling?"

"Just like, leaving notes with inappropriate jokes and stuff on them in my classroom," Yennefer says, suddenly a little embarrassed. Every once in a while she worries that Tissaia will be annoyed by her antics, but to her relief the smaller woman just shakes her head fondly.

"I don't know how they expect you two to teach high schoolers anything when you're still such children yourselves."

"Hey!" Yennefer protests, stabbing her fork in the air. "I've learned a great deal of tact since I was in high school!"

Tissaia just laughs and takes a sip of her wine in a way that has Yennefer completely distracted from any thoughts besides the stupidly sexy curve of the woman's throat as she swallows.

###

Thursday is quiet, and she even manages to sneak in a lunch with Tissaia that helps distract her from the problem of her prank perpetrator. On Friday she makes it through all of her classes with no incidents, and she breathes a sigh of relief when she goes to the bathroom before coming back to grab her bag from the room and lock up.

Except when she walks into the room, she stops dead in her tracks. Apparently her mystery prankster used the three minutes she was out of the classroom to maximum effect, because there is now a large poster with the Stark crest on it and the words _Is your name winter? Cause you'll be coming soon_ in bold font across the bottom.

She glares at it and stomps over to tear it down. This feels like it's crossed a line; the other notes were generic and innocent enough that she could brush them off, but this one is specifically about her. She's just about to grab it when she hears a muffled chuckle from the corner of the room by the door. 

She turns, ready to lay into whoever it is, but her mouth drops when she sees Tissaia standing there watching her with a smirk.

"You!" she gasps, the pieces slotting into place. "It was you this whole time!" Tissaia shrugs and pushes off the wall to walk over to her. 

"I couldn't pass up the opportunity to give you a taste of your own medicine."

"And you let me think it was Sabrina," Yennefer groans, lips turning down into a pout. Tissaia just laughs and stretches up on her toes to kiss the frown away. Yennefer chases after the kiss when the smaller woman pulls back, and she grins at the muffled yelp Tissaia makes when she wraps her hands around the smaller woman's thighs and lifts her onto the desk.

"I think I deserve an apology," she mumbles, and Tissaia smiles mischievously into the kiss as her eyes flick over to where the poster still hangs on the wall.

"Well, I'm a woman of my word," she breathes out, and Yennefer grins.

_T_ _hat_ is the type of apology she can definitely get on board with.

**Author's Note:**

> Yell at me/give me prompts in the comments or on tumblr @kapuahiwahiwa! :)


End file.
